The Unglamorous Life

I am one of those people who has delusions of grandeur for my life. I like to imagine myself head to toe in Prada walking down the city streets to my glamorous job. This job brings me power, popularity, or a huge salary. Preferably all three. As I walk around with these visions in my head, I can easily change the soundtrack to my life  on my iPod to fit any one of these aspects. All I need is a camera crew and a Sarah Jessica Parker narration.

Unfortunately, this is not my reality. The life of an unemployed 20-somethings is extremely unglamorous. I’m writing this post because,

#1 I know many people have gone through this situation
#2 Many of my fellow 20-somethings are in the same boat
#3 I feel the need to vent
#4 I’m shamelessly looking for a little sympathy here!

I’ll begin with my unglamorous wardrobe. My clothes are far from Prada and, while they are decently made, I am constantly pushing up the sleeves of my Gap sweater to hide the little hole on the shoulder. I walk with a slight wobble because I’m afraid that the heel on my over-worn shoe might snap off at any minute. This is not exactly the kind of image I like to imagine.

Another unglamorous thing is my living situation. I live with family friends completely off of their charity. No feelings of empowerment there, although it is a great lesson in humility. Even though they have been kind and wonderful to me, I am constantly stressed that I will be in their way or inconveniencing them. I tip toe around and turn the volume down so low on my laptop I can hardly hear it.

Applying for jobs is also extremely unglamorous. Yes, I know everyone has to do it but I sometimes wonder if the interviewers even remember what it feels like. You get looked at up and down and judged on the hole in your sweater or the scuff marks on your shoes. You sit there, knowing your future is in their hands and they stare coldly at your resume and make you defend all the accomplishments you have been so proud of and worked so hard for.

No, I am not out on the street or starving (although restaurant food is officially off the menu) but the humiliation, stress and rejection is starting to wear me down. I spent years working hard in school and working in extremely unglamorous part-time jobs. I made people blizzards at Dairy Queen and would leave work covered head to toe in ice cream but I didn’t mind because I thought that working hard would give me the chance to achieve my dreams of a glamorous life. I sat at home “unglamorously” studying while my friends went to bars and keg parties in high school and college. I did this because I thought a high GPA would help me achieve a glamorous life in the future.

I sit here and I see my delusions of grandeur slowly disappearing before my eyes and no matter how hard I try to reach out and grab a hold of that life, it’s completely out of my power.

Thank you for bearing with me and listening to me complain. I look forward to your sweet sympathetic comments or your extremely motivational comments which let me know that I am just whining and that everyone goes through my situation. Either way, I love to hear from you!


6 responses to “The Unglamorous Life

  • Jackie

    You’re right, I can totally relate to this! Let’s hope our hard work pays off at some point but right now it’s hard to stay positive and to feel like you’re going to end up with a better job/future than the partier who just got by in college but somehow has a great job right after graduation. All we can do is keep trying and hope that it eventually works out!

  • Josh Peterson

    Rebekah –

    I’ve felt like you do many times. Perhaps, as someone who has been in your shoes for what feels like more than their fair share, I can offer a few words of encouragement:

    Humility is a reminder that even the tallest tree began as a small seed buried deep beneath the dirt. It took time to germinate and break ground. That sapling then weathered storms and seasons year after year until it became the magnificent tree we are talking about today.

    Often times, especially our generation, we forget that between Points 1 and 2 there are still Points 1.1, 1.2, 1.25, and so on that we still have to deal with. ‘Delusions of grandeur’ is a term made up by people who gave up on their dreams, having dismissed their deepest desires to the realm of fantasy. Faith, on the other hand, is the absolute commitment to the fulfillment of a vision.

    One thing I have learned over the years is that every moment of suffering comes with the opportunity to make the most of it, and overcome it – Problems are meant to be solved. Suffering is often the catalyst of great inspiration. Negro spirituals were birthed out of slavery. God heard their prayers.

    You’re doing great – Don’t give up. The world needs what you have to offer.

    – Josh

  • Sarah on Stem Cells

    I’m pretty sure you could wear torn up jeans, a stained white t-shirt and flip flops and still be more glamorous that 99 percent of the population!!

  • liradand

    I am having a moment right now too. I’m working on a pretty big event (volunteer of course) and it’s exciting. I love that the organization I’m working with was brave enough to let me handle everything, from the menu to television interviews (which I’d never done!).
    Unfortunately, working around the clock has made my j-o-b suffer. Obviously, I’m not excited about it and by the time I go in each day, I’m exhausted. Well, last night they pulled me for a conference and I crumbled. All I could think was, “I have a degree! I work so hard! Why isn’t my life better?” Unfortunately, the stress from that situation contributed to an absolute bombing of this morning’s television interview.
    I keep thinking “I just want to quit everything”. But, unfortunately for me right now, I have too much fight in me to quit anything. I’ll quit when it kills me. I can tell you have a lot of fight in you too, so carry on!

    P.S. My wardrobe is so sad that my tv “uniform” consists of gray pants, black shirt and a cardigan. I’m sure people @ work will wonder why I’ve worn what looks like the same outfit for 3 days (I tend to lose the cardigan in 95 degree weather). Talk about glamour!

  • alexgent

    I know exactly what you mean Rebekah. The whole job search process wears you down – I’m so tired of writing and talking about myself. Just got to keep going – things will work out in the end. In the mean time, keep up the excellent writing!

  • Tori

    I’m so sorry you’re still having such a hard time finding something 😦 I will send good juju your way!

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